صور طفلة صغيرة جميلة جدا

[Mazinger]

Nuh-Uh!!!

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HA HA!!!

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May 12, 2008
Her Royal Highness

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May 06, 2008
Acrobat Olivia!

My view...

Her view...

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April 22, 2008
Oh, the Things They'll Say VIII
So Olivia, being my child, is enjoying Battle 360 as her "after-bath-time-grown-up" show. It's essentially a multi-part visualization of my favorite WWII book. Since this is the History Channel, interspersed between lots of really cool CGI battles are sound bites from various interviews with veterans and military experts, including one William E. Bodette, 1st Sargent, U.S.M.C. And let me tell you folks, he is every inch The Marine. How do I know?
Olivia, seeing him come on screen for the fifth time in the forth episode she's watched: "Daddy! That man's head looks like a Great. Big. Jar!!!"
I kid you not. And in patented "head-explodes-in-candy-helium-high" cute voice. Kids.

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April 03, 2008
~Let's Go Fly A Kite~
I took Olivia to a local pet expo this weekend. What did we find? A CAT kite!!
This is O's first kite flying experience. She had us out there over an hour flying the kite at the local school's soccer field parking lot.

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March 26, 2008
Peep Pie!

Why yes, I did make a Peep Pie!

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I Found One!

Yes, our flowers are blooming! Many thanks to our neighbors for letting us hide eggs in their yard!

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Amber and O Dying Eggs

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GREEN!

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March 10, 2008
Roller Girl Olivia
Year 2 with roller skating, and she is finally getting the hang of it!

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March 04, 2008
YEE-HAW!

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March 01, 2008
Olivia...No Rapunzel

We had a fake hair day.

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February 19, 2008
<DIV class=blogbody>Hellooo... May I Nibble On You?

SNOW BALL!

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Snow Angel

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First Snow!!

It was our first REAL snow today so Olivia and I headed out after picking her up from Day Care for some fun. She never built a snowman and the snow was pretty good for one. Until we got a wild idea how to decorate it.

We are very proud of it. NO ONE in the neighborhood has one like ours!

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January 13, 2008
Father Holmes

Olivia was the only one Baptized today.

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Baptism Annex

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St. Veronica's Catholic Church

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Olivia Did Not Appreciate This Part

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Posing On The Stairs

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Mark and O on the steps

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Olivia's Baptism Photo

Olivia was Baptized today. Here is the photo of us with her Godfather Mark.

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January 06, 2008
My Schmoolete!

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Lazy Sunday

What else is there to do on a lazy Sunday?

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January 05, 2008
Fish Cookies!!

Ok, we don't say "smile" or "cheese". We say "fish cookies!".

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Olivia and Mark

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Daddy And His Girl

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Botanical Girl!

We went to the Botanical Gardens today with Mark. I managed to catch this pix.

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January 01, 2008
Bring In The New Year O!

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December 29, 2007
Olivia and The Swooze

Swoozie will 'step up' for Olivia already :)

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Makeup Attack 2.0

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When Makeup Attacks!

Me and O got carried away with a new makeup set she got for Xmas.

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December 25, 2007
For Me Santa?

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Olivia Her Royal Highness

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Olivia and The Easy Bake Oven

They work off of ice now, not a light bulb.

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Olivia And Her Tiger Baby

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Picture with Santa and Grammy

Santa visited Olivia in NY this year!

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December 20, 2007
O Has Antlers

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December 09, 2007
Olivia As A Spice Girl

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Lucy and Olivia

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Olivia And Marilyn Monroe

While we were in NYC this weekend, we hit Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.

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MMMmm...What Did you Eat In NYC O?

REAL NYC Italian pizza!!!
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[Mazinger]

Olivia and her Buddies

Our pookie-pie is home sick today. She sounds like she swallowed troll snot. :/

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November 29, 2007
Ta Da!

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Putting Up The Star

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November 27, 2007
Those Are Big Ornaments O!

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Trimming The Tree

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November 26, 2007
Why I Should Not Leave Scott And Olivia Alone v 3.0
That better not be what I think it is behind you!?!

It is! Gah!! Last time her hair got sucked out at the roots!

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November 02, 2007
Oh, the Things They'll Say VII
"Scott!! What the f*#%?!? There's cheese in the knife drawer!"
"Wasn't me!" (I actually don't know how it got in there. Not the point.)
Olivia: "Yeah, dad, what the f#$%?!?"
Ellen: "Olivia!!!"
Me: "What'd she say?"
"She said the W-T-F word" (as in "dubya-tee-eff")
Oliva, in her schoolmarm voice: "No mommy. That's not what I said. I said 'what the f$#$!'"
Us, together: "Olivia!!!" Daycare, I tell ya. She learns it all from daycare.

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October 31, 2007
Dino Roar!

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Olivia, The T-Rex for 2007 Halloween

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October 29, 2007
In The Pumpkin Patch

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Caught Sleeping In The Car

Olivia and I have this habit of falling asleep in the car.

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Super Slide

No kidding, this slide is 60 feet long and 30 feet high.

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The Rope Swing

We took Olivia to The Great Country Farm again this year. This time she was all for the rope swing!

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Supa Grin!

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October 22, 2007
The Sharpie Marker Incident

This is WHY I cannot leave Scott and Olivia alone for even an hour.

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October 21, 2007
Hey, Johnson, Whaddaya Say / We all Want to Know What You Learned Today...
I learned that, even sitting less than four feet away from me, Olivia can get into the most amazing things. Up this time: a mini-sharpie marker Ellen must've dropped who knows how long ago. Normally I toss them on sight. Permanent markers do not make daddy smile! Somehow I missed this one, and now Olivia looks like she murdered Barney with a kitchen knife. Swear to God, I only looked away for 5 minutes! Big, long, lurid purple spots and streaks from toe to face (face! sharpie!) now adorn everyone's favorite princess. "It's okay daddy! It's my tattoos!"

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October 20, 2007
OH Boy...

We had my younger brothers in town, and as you see, none of them will hold still for a photo.

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October 18, 2007
Me and My Baby Doll!

Thanks to Mark for the pix!

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October 16, 2007
~ Oh Yes They Call Her the Streak... WHEEEEE!!! ~
Whatever vestiges of toddlerhood still clinging to my tiny dancer have been flung down the stairs like... well, like the clothes on her back. Olivia is now into naked time!!! I can definitely remember this phase myself, but I thought it was limited to crude gross little boys. I have a giggly "laffy-taffy" shaking her nekkid butt back and forth across the living room proving me wrong. No pictures this time. I'm not that dumb. But it is damned funny. Now if I can just keep her from sticking her fingers in her crack...

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October 15, 2007
Fairy Bubbles

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Fan Sassy

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Elephant Ride

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Olivia and Her Unicorn

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Olivia With The Fairy God Mother

I should mention we hit the Ren Faire again this weekend for the last time this year. I made Olivia's costume this year.

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The Royal Princess

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October 14, 2007
Say Hi O!

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The Pumpkin Patch @ Hill Top Farm

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September 30, 2007
Shoulder Puppets

Olivia and I with our Woodbabies! Olivia liked my puppet so much last year, I bought her one this year.

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Olivia And The Strep Throat

O had strep last week. She did not feel well.

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September 26, 2007
It's Official
On this day, at 1:00 pm, Olivia proved she knows how to answer Ellen's cell phone. It took her two tries, but while Mommy was in the shower Olivia fielded daddy's call and yelled at mom until she came down and picked it up. This is something of a double-edged sword for me. Ellen considers her phone slightly, and only slightly, less important than oxygen. If she takes after her mother in this regard, it does not bode well. I kid! I kid! Geeze. Nobody has a sense of humor nowadays...

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September 23, 2007
Bowling

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Moooooon Bounce
They had a MEGA moon bounce at the fair too.

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September 22, 2007
Volunteer Work-Face Painting Booth @ St. Veronica's
This Friday, my church was desperate for face painters for their painting booth at their yearly fair, so I signed up since I can paint.
I was not expecting to have all the kids line up to me vs. the other painters. Apparently my dragons are the bomb diggity for the boys, and my butterflies for the girls were just awesome.

Notice all of my younger assistants. After I started to paint, I got ditched.

Apparently at the end of the night, (I was given a 2 hour paint shift from 7-9PM) I was asked by a parent if I had the car with the "bones" on it. Then I was told they were expecting some guy in it and did not realize it was me sitting in church for the past several weeks. Apparently "Bones" has made an impression already with the kids. I have the 'cool' car.

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September 16, 2007
And Now For Your Weekend Olivia Commercial Break
Today we find Olivia dancing to the music of "Aladdin."

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September 03, 2007
Hold Still Spider Monkey!

Olivia has her own camera now, so I had to take a picture of her taking a picture.

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And WHY Is Olivia Smiling?

"

Because she got a PONY RIDE!

"

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Goat Encounter

Yes, we hit the petting zoo today. Can you tell?

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[Mazinger]

Sittin' On a Bear

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August 13, 2007
Stop Hosing Me!

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Olivia and Vinny

Yes yes...get it over with. I have a 'cousin Vinny.

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August 12, 2007
MMMmmmm....Sponge Bob Ice Pop

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Olivia And The Life Jacket

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Olivia's First Fishing Trip

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July 24, 2007
Three Years On

Compare with:

The only distance between the former and the latter are five feet and three years. It staggers me.
Then, I don't think Olivia had ever ridden in the Spider. Now, she rides in it far more often than Ellen does. Maybe this summer we'll take our first father-daughter road trip? You never know.
I only have, what, nine years before she'll never want to talk to me again? All the time in the world. And it'll be over tomorrow. Lord help us all.

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Oh, The Things They'll Eat III In the past two days: ring pops dipped in ketchup, and hamburger buns dipped in grape soda. Rachel Ray better just watch the hell out; s'all I'm sayin'.

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July 18, 2007
Oh The Things They Do...
You really don't think that a Swivel Sweeper would do something like this. Usually they are used on a floor, but this little girl tried it on her head.

How I fixed the bald spot.

Why yes, that is permanent marker smiley face on her head.

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July 15, 2007
Oh, the Things They'll Say VI
I've told this story to several people recently, but I'm recording it here because otherwise by the time it's useful as embarrassment material for dates everyone will have forgotten about it.
During our stay in San Diego, we were always on the top floor of a 14-story tower, which, well, towered over the rest of the property. Olivia took to calling this "the building." As in, "daddy, I'm tired, let's go home to the building." Or, "daddy! Why won't you buy me everything in the store?!? You're in time out! Go back to the building!"
Fast forward two weeks later, with Olivia sitting on the floor playing with her various San Diego-acquired stuffed animals*. Suddenly, she says, "Daddy! I want to go home!"
"Olivia, you are home!"
"No, daddy, this home is stupid! I want to go home to the building!"
Well, it's a damned long walk, but we'll see what we can do, kiddo. ----
* All 32 of them. I think. I lost count.

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July 09, 2007
Me and Olivia

Yes, I got a new haircut today! :)

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June 26, 2007
San Diego Zoo!-a Few Teaser Pixes!
We have so many fun photos of many individual animals, that a small entry will not do them justice! So enjoy these for now!

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June 25, 2007
Face Painting
Oh yeah... did we mention the face painting too?

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$40 of Happiness

Notice how she will not look at the camera for this shot.

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Olivia Visa Moment
Sorry, my Mastercard is for my business only. But here I bring you a VISA moment!
$65 per adult and $45 per child to get into Sea World.
$9.95 plus tax for the Shamu cup.

A VERY happy little girl, priceless.

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June 23, 2007
Chula Vista Nature Center
Today O and I headed out to the Chula Vista Nature Center. You can check their website out here.
Now for the pixes!

Hope you all enjoyed this picture entry!

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June 21, 2007
Look What I Caught Grampy!

Yes, this is a single leaf of kelp. You have no idea how BIG these things get till you see them wash up on the shore.

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Looking At The Pacific

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Pacific Sunset

It's been a long day O! Say goodnight to the beach!

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June 20, 2007
SWIM O!

Olivia will swim on her own now with her jacket on. She won't let you hang on to her anymore.

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The Straw Hat

C'mon O! Since when are you shy for a picture?

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The Chlorine Mermaid 4.0

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June 18, 2007
This Is How We Feel

It is now 7:53PM California time. We are totally beat.

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June 10, 2007
Ready for the Show!

Ellen's big recital was last weekend. This was the first one Olivia let me see to the end. Unfortunately the lighting was just about impossible for me to shoot in, so this is one of the few sharp pictures of the bunch. More to follow.

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[Mazinger]

Oh, the Things They'll Say V (and Eat II)
Olivia, after watching (YAF*) Shrek commercial: "Daddy! There's Shrek, and Donkey, and Piss on Boots!" The staccato delivery was what really sold it.
And the latest flavor combo? Chicken nuggets dipped in chocolate pudding. Coming to a McDonalds near you. -----
* Yet Another ... Fine. Yeah. Fine

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May 09, 2007
Celebratory Hose Down!

Oh yes, 86 degrees and we have no champagne to celebrate with. So the hose is the second best!

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In Action

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Upgrade

That's right Olivia got a Giant tandem bike! NO MORE TRICYCLE!

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May 03, 2007
The Latest Taste!
Cheetos dipped in strawberry soda. NO REALLY!

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May 02, 2007
Bitty Baby

Spring is here again at AMCGLTD! It's kitten season! Let the fostering begin!

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April 30, 2007
<DIV class=blogbody>Present #2

First Wheels

This is the reward Olivia got for not wearing pull-ups anymore. ROLLER SKATES! HEELIES NO LESS!

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April 29, 2007
Me and Olivia

At the National Arboretum.

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Peek A Boo!

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April 17, 2007
Two Tastes that Taste... Well...
Olivia's latest taste combo is... Cheetos dipped in orange juice. Judging by the lip-smacking, this is quite good. I'll take her word for it.

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April 13, 2007
Make A Wish O!

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March 25, 2007
I'll Take It!

uh...no Olivia. We already have a giant pony in the house. We do not need more of a zoo. Daddy will kill me if I buy it. Put back the giraffe and Mommy won't get hurt...

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March 19, 2007
NOOOOODLES!

I never said she was "normal."

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March 18, 2007
The Spaghetti Incident Part Deux!

More to come...daily though. There is only so much pasta I can take!

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March 17, 2007
You Gotta Problem with Orange Juice?

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March 13, 2007
Cousins

Taken at the museum outing this past weekend.
Olivia, being Olivia, kept trying to boss her cousin JT around as we wandered the museum. Every time he ignored her and swirled off on his own tangent, she'd put her hands on her hips and yell out in a very exasperated tone, "Jaayymes!"
She is, after all, her mother's child. No-prize to Jeff for sharing with us pictures taken with his snazzy new camera!

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March 12, 2007
The Gang!

Me, Olivia, and my nephew, James at the Udvay-Hazy museum this past weekend.

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March 04, 2007
A Daddy And His Girl

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February 22, 2007
How Mom Reacts

Olivia even demands the camera!

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Just Say, "Ah!"

Funny enough, Ellen doesn't think Olivia pays attention when she goes to work. Don't ask me!

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Another Angle

Can Opener!!!</B> Apologies to The Grammas, we're not making her fly. It's all we can do to keep her from jumping!

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February 18, 2007
CANNONBALL!!

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February 11, 2007
Knitted Hat Baby

This is Nina's hat I made her. Olivia has decided she needed to wear it today.

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Franken Olivia?

What happens when a little girl gets in your makeup.

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February 06, 2007
Oh, the Things They'll Eat And on the menu over the weekend was: cold waffles, soaked in syrup, dipped in ketchup. Said ketchup was demanded on sight as I was eating my own lunch (of chicken strips and french fries). After finishing her "lunch waffle", she proceeded to eat my chicken too. Ain't growing children grand?

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February 05, 2007
FLING!

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January 28, 2007
Pull Up. Pull Up. Pull Up.

Me: "I think we should get Olivia some video games."
Scott: "Ya think?!?" Taken at the Nat'l Air and Space (which Olivia picked out, all by herself!)

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I Like This One Better

Note the roller caught in mid-fall, trailing water drops.

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The Things You Do As A Parent...

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January 22, 2007
SNOW IN D.C. SUBURBS! EVERYONE PANIC!

EVERYONE PANIC! BUY LOTS OF TOILET PAPER AND MILK!!
Yes, the people here are really that stupid over snow. There were 8 accidents yesterday afternoon when the flurries started on a main road we drove down coming home. One was even an overturned car. Idiots I tell ya!

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January 16, 2007
Oh, the Things They'll Say IV
One of the tasks of potty training is association. By reminding Olivia that everyone uses the potty, the hope is she's more likely to use it herself.
Yesterday, while getting dressed for a zoo outing during Daddy Day:
Me: "Olivia, where does daddy do poo-poo?"
Olivia, in a bright, cheerful tone: "On the potty!"
Me: "Where does mommy do poo-poo?"
Olivia, slightly muffled by the shirt she's pulling over her head, "On the potty!"
Me: "Where do the cats do poo-poo?"
Olivia, with a suddenly serious face: "On the floor." Well, yes, there is that...

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January 12, 2007
Oh, the Things They'll Say III
Olivia, stomping into the kitchen after we'd all come home from work/school yesterday afternoon: "Mommy! I want a juice box! Now!"
Me: "Olivia! You do not talk to mommy that way. Say it nicely."
Olivia: "Mommy! I want a juice box! Now! Nicely!"
After a few more... elaborations... on what nicely actually meant, she got her juice box. Funny, but the same line said to Ellen from me later was quite ineffective when I wanted a beer from the fridge.

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January 11, 2007
Go Go Boots

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Hang On O!

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January 04, 2007
Weer In Ur Houz, Watchin Yer Boiz Looz

WHAT?!? ARKANSAS LOST THAT WEEKEND TOO!

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I Believe I Can Fly

Once again, a perfect example WHY Olivia cannot be left alone with Scott.

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January 01, 2007
Entertainment

Who needs to watch the post New Year shows when you got your own rock star!

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Yo Girl!

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[Mazinger]

Bubbles

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Pretty as a Princess

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Tea Party

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December 25, 2006
Did Santa Come?

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Playing Hairdresser

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A Pony and Her Sprite

Why yes, that is the FUR-REAL Pony!

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December 22, 2006
Head Rush

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The XMAS Elf

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December 14, 2006
Pom Pom Girl!

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December 03, 2006
Sassy Girl!

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Botanical Baby

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December 01, 2006
Don't Worry. we'll Make Sure She Has Clothes On When She's on Tour

Paging Nina, white courtesy phone please...

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Olivia's First Flowers From a Boy!

Yes, Olivia got flowers from a boy! One of her day care friends. His name is Alex, but we're not allowed to say that in front of Daddy, who's been groaning, "What the the hell am I going to do in ten years?" ever since. Of course, Alex was a boy, so he got it all wrong, but she didn't care. And she is SURE proud of them!

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November 29, 2006
Olivia's Theme?
Because I've been banished downstairs while Our Empress is exercising...
Ok, one of the goofy "minute hobbies" I have is looking up songs and/or bands whenever they come up on my "Intarnets" oldies radio channels. You learn the damnedest things! Which is why...
It only occurred to me (whilst listening) to think of it when I read that the Allman Brother's Band song "Jessica" is about a little daughter and not a girlfriend that I realized this was, in essence, what Olivia's like right now. Music in motion, fleshtone zipping across your field of vision, only noticed when you think, "wait, what was she carrying?!?" That sort of thing.
I wonder if Jessica ran around naked as much as our monster does? One would think.
Whee! The best thing about two beers after big exercise is making you all scratch your heads and go, "wtf?!?"
Oh hush. I don't write these things for you. If it all works out, when she's fifteen she'll read this stuff when nobody's around and realize I'm just another screwup trying his best.
Being incoherent in public is the advantage of owning your own website. Well, that, and getting one or more of The Grammas to get vapors and wonder, "What has happened to that child?!?"

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November 25, 2006
Decorating the Tree

We decorated the tree tonight.

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Powdered Sugar Girl

This is what happens when you turn your back on Olivia and she gets into the baby powder.

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November 11, 2006
Paging Peter Frampton. White Courtesy Phone Please.

Olivia's gift for using the potty this weekend.

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November 08, 2006
More Voting Mommy!
Apparently Olivia's illness was caused by the voting. Damn those Democrats. I had a feeling Olivia was getting a psychic vibe knowing that they would win and in return they made her ill, just like we all will be the next two years.
Olivia wanted to vote again yesterday morning for more stickers. She also liked the polling booth a bit too much, which caused the "tantrum".
In return, this Democratic tantrum turned into full blown vomting and a headache. Damn those Democrats.

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November 07, 2006
Home Sick Today

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October 31, 2006
LOOT!

Why yes she is buzzing like a neon sign. Why do you ask? SOME of Olivia'as loot

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Halloween Kiss V. 3.0

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The Halloween Princess

What you can't see is the glitter in her hair and pink eyeshadow. This outfit was a surprise for her. She was about to burst when I pulled it out after applying her makeup and glitter.

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October 29, 2006
Playing Makeup

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October 22, 2006
The Pumpkin Patch

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AVATAR!

One of Olivia's favorite chop-sake animation shows always has kids jumping to incredible hights. Today, Olivia got to be the Avatar.

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First Lady, Senator, Farm Ride?

Of course it has nothing to do with me wearing and Arkansas Razorback sweatshirt. No really!

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October 20, 2006
Olivia's Favorite Cat

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October 12, 2006
What's Up Baby?

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October 01, 2006
Olivia's Personal Camel

That's Our Princess on top, Joshua as The Camel, with special guest star... rmm... Damion's friend, over there on the left. Yeah... him... he's really cool, we promise!

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Sponsors

Welcome to your ticket to 16th century England! Sponsored by Pepsi

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Maryland Renaissance Festival Pix

We hit the Ren-Faire today! In full garb no less!

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September 27, 2006
Tour Bus Part Deux!

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The Tour Bus

Olivia wanted to live on the bus.

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Chicken Fingers at Jaxx

The club was nice enough to make O chicken fingers before the show.

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Working!

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Olivia Visits Her Aunt Nina at Work

Nina is :"I'm in charge of merch for the band, but I'm also the assistant tour manager and take care of all press functions...interviews, meet & greets, aftershow, etc..."

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Turtle Curling
If you're a parent you should know the movie The Wild. If you haven't seen it, first go here, and choose the clip titled "Curling." Go on. We'll wait. The story won't make sense without it.
Olivia can't get enough of the movie. She's probably seen it four times in the past five days. Which has led to some... interesting... behavior.
The other day I was in the kitchen feeding the cats and here she comes jogging up with my swiffer broom in both hands. For those who don't know what that is, here's a much earlier picture of The Princess in action with it.
"Mama! I need the turtle!"
"Why?"
"I play game with him!" And then she started scooting the swiffer across the floor with a huge smile on her face.
Then I realized what she really wanted to do was use him as a curling disc in the kitchen, on the tile floor. Just like the turtles in the movie are used for...
"No Olivia, you can't use Om for that!"
"But MAMA! I need the turtle to play the game!"
"No! We do not use turtles as hockey pucks in this house!"
Scott, being ever so helpful, then said from the living room, "actually, they're not pucks, they're stones."
Olivia then tried her divide-and-conquer approach. "Daddy! I need the turtle to play! Could you get him for me?"
"No Olivia, no turtles."
"Please?"
The whole time Om just sat in his pen, with this "oh hell no" expression on. Well, from what we could see anyway. He wisely stayed inside his shell.
"No Olivia, no turtles."
Whereapon she harumpfed mightily and, in patented three-year-old fashion, got distracted and forgot about the whole thing. Hopefully Om will forget about it too. I gave him a slice of strawberry just in case.

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September 24, 2006
Purple Jacket

To mom, it was an opportunity to clean out the coat closet. To the Princess, it was all about adding to the wardrobe.

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September 21, 2006
Look Ma!

No cast! Olivia's officially cured! She thought the cast saw was tickly, and was far more interested in building up her sticker collection than she was in her X-rays. Fortunately those turned out to be completely normal, showing the bone healing very nicely. No more arm bags in the bath!

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September 16, 2006
Tribal Baby

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September 15, 2006
Can't Catch Me!

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Run Away!

Of course, sometimes Daddy got the hose anyway

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Fun with the Hose, 2nd Edition

[Mazinger]

Homework

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August 28, 2006
And She Chose the Purple One...

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Definitely My Child
Saturday afternoon, while Ellen was doing the five hour tattoo thing...
Olivia, strangely muffled: "Daddy! Lookitme!"
Me, looking up from a magazine article: "Olivia! Get down from there!"
Olivia, upside down with her legs in the air, facing into the back of a chair to my left: "Daddy! I do headstand! Look! One foot!"
Just as I got up to un-headstand the child, she tumbled out of the chair like the proverbial sack of potatoes, landing with a shambling thud on her butt.
Olivia, after a brief pause, lit up with a big smile and said, "Don't worry daddy! I'm Okay. I'm ok--"
Whereapon she tried to stand up, and promptly clonged her head into the underside of the glass table she'd fallen under. Hit it so hard it rang like a bell.
Olivia: "Ooowwwww!!!" But, since she's also Ellen's child, I was actually more worried about her head breaking the table.

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August 25, 2006
No More Monkeys Jumping On the Bed!

This is what happens when you pretend you are a monkey and jump off the bed. Yes, Olivia has her first broken bones! She broke her wrist in 2 spots. The hard cast gets placed Monday. Otherwise she loves to show off her new boo-boo to everyone.

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August 23, 2006
Run Away!

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Strike a Pose Girls!

Olivia and one of her cousins at the yearly family reunion.

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August 13, 2006
Watercolor Makeup

Scott to me, as I got home an hour later: "She did a really good job putting make-up on! Check out that precision. Cheeks, eye shadow. All... by... herself?
No, really! Look! Stop looking at me like that. Ok, church or no church, it's time to put the knife down. Hacking up your husband makes baby Jesus sad, ok? Ok? .."

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Umm...Yeah...

This is what happens when you leave your child and husband alone together for an hour.

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August 12, 2006
Double Bubble Binkey Trouble

Dry ice is fun! A witch in training. Definitely Ellen's child.

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August 09, 2006
Two Chairs To Choose From...

and she decides it is much better to toss half a stuffed animal box to the floor and lay in the box. I swear she was a cat in a former life.

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July 23, 2006
Strike a Pose and Vogue

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Say Cheese!

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July 18, 2006
Yeeeha!

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July 17, 2006
WOOHOO!

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Air Borne!

Olivia and her cousin, Cameron, playing on the water slide.

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July 14, 2006
The Club House

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Pool Kisses

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July 10, 2006
Seesaw

Olivia's first seesaw ride.

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Up and Down

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July 09, 2006
The Wagon Says it All...

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July 08, 2006
Big Wave in the Pool

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Down the Slide

This was just in the kiddy pool. She went on the triple boats with us down the really BIG ones.

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Save Me!

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Oh Yeah!

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Closest Thing To A Beach In Arkansas

Actually this is at Wild River Country, a huge water park here in Little Rock.

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July 06, 2006
Too Loud Daddy!

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July 05, 2006
Hey Olivia! It's a Sparkler not a Candle!

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July 02, 2006
Catching a Ride

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I'M Swimming!

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Kiss Kiss

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Lazy Pool Day

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June 25, 2006
Daughter... Princess... Center?

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Whack

Olivia took one swing at the pinata and she was done. So her cousin, James, finished it off.

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The Chlorine Mermaid 3.0

Olivia is officially a mermaid this year! She even told her Daddy she was. According to Scott, Olivia swam across the wide end of the pool all by herself.

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June 24, 2006
Happy 3rd!!

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY OLIVIA!!!

*Due to some computer problems today we were unable to update AMCGLTD. But hey, we were busy celebrating O's birthday!

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June 19, 2006
Keeping Cool

Olivia ate a total of 4 ice cream cup and 2 snocones on Saturday just to keep cool. Not to mention each of us (5 total) must have bought 2-3 bottles of water each just to dump on her to keep her cool.

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June 17, 2006
Amber and O

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MMMmm...Snocone

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The Naked Piper

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The Look

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Wet Smile

We headed to the Celtic Festival in the area today. It was well into the high 90's in the shade. We had a cranky girl on our hands until we strip her down to her pull-ups and Ron dumps water on her head.

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June 16, 2006
Rasta Olivia

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Early Presents

O got a package in the mail from her Aunt Nina for her birthday next week. It was a hit. Little girls with unicorns and a cat on a pillow(to Olivia it is a cat on a magic carpet) go together like a PBJ sammich.

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June 15, 2006
Here Goblin, You Taste...

Olivia learns that licking the bowl and spoon to cake batter is the best!

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I Wanna Be A Cowgirl

[Mazinger]

Mimic

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May 29, 2006
Princess Bed

Olivia got her big girl bed today! This also marks the first day I got kicked out of her room.

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May 26, 2006
Oh, the Things They'll Say, II
Saturdays are nearly always Daddy Days. Mom works most Saturdays, so it's me and Olivia all day long. We've done it so often we've got a pretty good routine working. But I didn't really know just how ingrained it had gotten until last week.
On Daddy Days the schedule is get up, eat breakfast, watch some shows, get dressed, head to the park, stop by McDonalds for lunch, then hit the sack for nap time. The whole thing takes about five to six hours, which is just enough time for Ellen to get home.
This particular Saturday was beautiful... sunny, breezy, warm enough to not need a coat but cool enough to keep you from frying. Since Ellen's never learned to drive a standard, Olivia and I toodle around in "SpidahCar", going from place to place with the top down and the wind in our hair.
The McDonalds is just down the road from our house, so we went through the drive-thru on the way home. While we waited for our turn, Olivia happily pointed out "McDonahs daddy! Look! Flags! Yellow! Gear shift! Brrumm Brumm! Go home, see Globlin!"*
As we pulled up to the menu board, we got the typical, "hellowelcometomcdonaldsmayitakeyourorderwouldyoul ikeacombo?" greeting. Except since everyone who works at McD's seems to have English as a second language, it was more like, "alloellcometomacdonahsmaytakeohdahlikecombo?" I was just opening my mouth to place the order when suddenly from the passenger seat came, in a patented CuteChildtm voice, "Numbah eight plain hambugr dietcoke."
"What was that?"
This time she shouted, "NUMBAH EIGHT PLAIN HAMBUGR DIET COKE!"
There was a brief pause, then, "That will be $5.65, please drive to the first window"
Whereapon Olivia sat back and beamed at me, lifted up her hand and said, "Hi five, daddy!"
Well, everyone kept saying she'd eventually become useful. Now to teach her "get daddy a beer." ------
* It's a kind of mental ju-jitsu, talking to a not-quite-three-year-old. Just trying to keep up will tend to turn your brain into banana yogurt after an hour or so.

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May 15, 2006
Oh, the Things They'll Say
Now that it's auto racing season, Olivia and I are having a good time watching "racecars!" Not NASCAR, but F-1 and (lately) CART and IRL. No, really, there's something about small, shiny cars shrieking around and around a track that really seems to appeal to her not-quite three-year-old attention span. Oh be quiet, Ellen beat you to the "compares nicely with your own" joke a long time ago.
But, like Ellen, I've learned one must be careful which habits are imparted to our self-propelled mimic machine.
We have, for reasons immediately obvious to the females in the family and completely not-obvious to me, a giant dressing mirror in the den. Olivia uses this to dance and preen and practice screamingly funny facial expressions, making her look sort of like Jim Carrey, if Carrey were 3 feet tall and wore clear plastic slippers and a pink tu-tu, that is.
Anyway, yesterday morning Olivia had decided to do a little swirly dance with one of her blankets when on the TV screen behind her a CART driver decided to have himself a little bit of quiet time by bounding over a barrier, spinning the vehicle around twice, and scattering an impressive amount of his car across the landscape*. I said, without thinking much about it, "uh-oh!"
Olivia suddenly spun around, threw her blanket up in the air, shouted in her hyper-cute LittleGirlVoicetm, "GOD!" then threw the towel down to the ground, "DAMMIT!"
Barely suppressing a smile, I turned away from Olivia toward my left, where Ellen had been sitting typing away on her computer next to me on the couch. The look in her eyes as she stared at me would compare quite favorably to the one her snakes get when she puts a dead mouse in their cage.
"She got that one from you," she said.
Which of course caused me to turn back and say, "Olivia, we only say that when Schumacher or Alonso go out."
"Right daddy... soomahker alanso, right." Then she started making rubber faces at the mirror.
She's actually losing her timing a little bit. Normally this sort of thing is reserved for when A Gramma is around. -----
* The quiet time came at the end, after all the "tink tink p-tang tink" sounds had died down.

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May 01, 2006
Hot Tub Chixs

Many thanks to BlueLens for the excellent pix!

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April 30, 2006
Girl Dipping

"C'mon Joshua! Dip me again!"

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In The Hammock

O really liked Mark's hammock.

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Hot Tub Girl

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April 26, 2006
Even More Conversations with a Two Year Old
This morning I was in the den, reading my newspaper whilst sitting on the ol' rocking chair. Olivia, who was busy doing her standard morning Tasmanian Devil impression, spun her tornado over to me and suddenly said, "Daddy! Whas that?" and tapped on the opposite side of the page I was reading.
I looked, and saw a very large chart, some sort of oil company ad trying to explain which countries are getting their bazillions of profits, and how much. I was trying to frame the whole thing into the standard six-words-or-less that her current attention span allows when suddenly she said, "Daddy! That's a pie chart!"
"Why yes, Olivia, that's exactly what it is."
She nodded once emphatically, said "right," then spun off into the kitchen looking for a juice box. Ellen, sensing an easy point, immediately chimed in, "what, do you think she's stupid?"

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April 19, 2006
Oh, the Things They'll Do!
Our child, being, well, our child, has not settled on the standard "comfort favorites" of toys or blankets. Instead, her favorite "comfort thing" is a full-sized pillow Ellen or I dragged down to the den one night long ago when we couldn't sleep. This is "pillow-pillow", as in, "no, pillow-pillow can't go in the potty!" and "no, pillow-pillow doesn't want any cereal!" and "no, pillow-pillow is not for bopping kitties!"
What pillow-pillow is good for, however, is tossing on daddy's lap. Olivia will then turn around and back toward me in her trademark ready for pickup way.
Which she did just a few days ago while we were watching, oh hell I don't know, something pink with princesses and ponies in it. She then flopped, grown now to the point she barely fits on the pillow itself when lying down, reached down and grabbed a blanket.
"Daddy! Watch me! I sleep like daddy!"
She then closed her eyes and produced a sound which was a cross between a chainsaw with a bad carburetor and someone strangling a duck. The cats all stopped in their tracks and looked at her in alarm, and I swear the windows started to rattle. After a few impressive repeats, she stopped, giggled loudly, and went back to watching TV.
When I related this to Ellen after she got home later that evening, all I got was a, "yeah, she's getting pretty good at impersonations, isn't she?" As IF!!!

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April 10, 2006
Big Smile

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WAHOOOO!!

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April 08, 2006
The Dress
The fitting

A kiss from the Princess

So beautiful!

Yes, yes. I spent my dance money I earned last night on Olivia. It was worth it.

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April 03, 2006
Up High

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Making Pancakes

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Friends

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March 25, 2006
Petting the Pony

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Brushing LLamas

Amber and I took Olivia to the petting zoo today. It was a hit.

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March 23, 2006
More Conversations with a Two Year Old
A few days ago, whilst stuck for about 20 minutes in 5 mph traffic, Olivia: "Mommy?
Mommy?
Hey Mommy!!!"
Ellen, who was cross-stitching and not paying attention: "What?"
"I'm bored!"
"I'm sorry Olivia, we're stuck in traffic. You'll just have to wait."
"Ok mommy." Then, in a gradually louder sing-song: "bored bored bored bored I'm so bored bored bored I'm very bored bored bored," repeated for about 5 minutes.
Then, after more creeping: "Mom?
Mom?
Hey mommy!"
Ellen: "What?"
"Aaag! Traffic! I'm going crrrazzzzy!!!" (flops dramatically side to side in her superchair.) Some sort of backup on 66, I don't know, an accident or something. Complaining about traffic, not even 2 3. She's definitely a local!

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March 19, 2006
Commanding Evil

Even Olivia knows how to send evil herself into the living room to destroy all stuffed animals who disobey her! Yes! My girl has her first Minion!

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March 18, 2006
Cruella Da Bink

See what happens when you don't give me a binkey fast enough? I zapped him right out of his shoes!

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March 17, 2006
Conversations with a Two Year Old
Ellen: "AAGG! No! Olivia, no squirting the juice box in the kitchen. Stop it! Gimme that!" *snatch*
Olivia: "No mommy! Enough! You timeout right now! Stand there!" My comment, "she's definitely your child," was rather unappreciated by both parties.

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March 12, 2006
When Naps Attack

Today Olivia:

• Got up at 7:30
• Watched Formula One Racing with her Dad and rooted for the correct team.
• Watched her princess video.
• Did a little gardening with me.
• Went to the mall for lunch.
• Went to Lowes for gardening supplies.
• Played with her buddy, K (who is... 3 years old!!)
• Gardened some more.
• Washed Daddy's bike.
• Got hosed down to the point we had to peel her clothes off on the front porch.
• Ran around naked in the driveway for everyone to see.
• Watched the princess video again.

I would say she is tired? Wouldn't you?
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March 05, 2006
Rocket Pop Kiss

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February 23, 2006
The Princess

What happens when a certain little girl gets into her grandma's jewelry box.

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February 13, 2006
Drying the Toe Polish

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February 12, 2006
She Really Wants To Be A Cat

Note the cat collar...

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Walk in the Woods

Well we walked to the end of our street anyway...

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Snow Princess

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C'Mon Mom! I show You!

Uhh... Olivia? Don't you know Princess don't wear dresses in the snow?

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February 04, 2006
O and Nina

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January 29, 2006
Pudding Princess

When Ellen's away, daddy gets to play, this time with pictures taken during yesterday's daddy day. Why is she in just a diaper? It's the only thing I didn't worry about her staining. Note also the ballet shoes. One must, of course, accessorize.

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January 14, 2006
Olivia, The Pig In A Blanket

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The Royal Repast

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[Mazinger]

More Presents

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Quick Xmas Pix

"Oh Daddy! S'o beautiful!

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December 22, 2005
C'Mon O! Keep Rolling Out Cookies!

Olivia decided it was time she was allowed to help roll out tarts this year. I did not have an extra rolling pin, but a paper towel tube seemed to do the job!

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December 20, 2005
O and her Nina

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December 03, 2005
~ Hey, Johnson, Waddaya Say / We all Wanna Know What You Learned Today ~ I learned the only thing more futile than trying to elect a Democrat to the White House is taking a two year old with you Christmas shopping.

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November 29, 2005
Playing Princess...Again

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November 23, 2005
Another Cell Phone Pix!

O and her Aunt Nina.

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November 13, 2005
Nap Attack At Grammas

O taking a snooze with Arbor.

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November 06, 2005
Gucci Gucci Fendi Fendi

Only Ron and Amber will get the title! Thanks for the china girl outfit from NYC!

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October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween!

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October 28, 2005
The Masked Cross-Eyed Bandit

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Princess Olivia

Why yes, I am a princess. Why do you ask?

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October 24, 2005
Another Milestone
Yesterday Ellen, coming home from a multi-hour shopping run with Olivia, trudged up the stairs and presented me with an ultimatum: "Don't say the f- word in front of Olivia, Ok?"
To which I, sitting on the couch watching the Redskins trounce the 49'ers, could only reply with some puzzlement, "Um, ok. Sounds like a plan. Any reason we're starting today?"
Ellen: "No. It's just a bad idea and I don't want you teaching her any more bad habits!"
Me: "Hey, it's not like I handed her that beer!" Which got me one of those "significant" looks. "Well, I did take it right back!"
Just then Olivia, who had been tap-stepping up the stairs holding an animated conversation with one of her shoes, reached the top and walked into the living room. She sighed heavily, looked straight at Ellen, and delivered this judgement:
"Fuckit-mommy! Fuckit!"
After one of the most pregnant pauses in history, I said, with that "ancient Chinese secret, huh?" tone, "Ah yes, we certainly wouldn't want her to learn any of my bad habits. That would be just... terrible."
Ellen didn't so much as bat an eye, "Fu-- rrr-- Dam-- rrr-- Darned right!" Then she started unpacking.
It's proving to be a bit of a challenge to discipline Olivia about this. Not only does she drop the ol' f-bomb at the most surreal moments (we're still trying to tease the meaning out of "fuckit Elmo shoe strawberry"), but she does it with her patented Cute Child Voice. We have a really hard time not completely cracking up, which would of course only encourage her.
Well, we still have several weeks to go before the next visit from a Gramma, so hopefully this'll be under control by then. Of course, there's also the potential for Ellen to self-detonate from all her pent-up f-bomb energy. I'm not sure I want to know which will happen first.

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October 23, 2005
Black and White Smile

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The Only Dog O's Allowed to Have

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October 14, 2005
Oh Ballet!

Ok, so I lied. Here is pix #2. This is O's other ballet costume. You see, you have to wear the proper ballet costume to the right Barbie movie. Blue for swans, pink for ice skating. Get it right, or else!

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Blue Ballet

This is dress #1. Dress #2 gets posted tomorrow!

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October 11, 2005
Mark Your Calendars
For on this day Olivia, who, like her mother, may be living in the 21st century but is tempermentally better suited to a far more... impirial era, did something unprecedented. Even, perhaps, epochal. I swear after it happened the Devil himself knocked on my door in a snow-dusted parka and yelled at me to, and I quote, "knock it off." Yes, dear readers, it has actually happened. Our miniature empress-in-training actually did it. After more than two years of Making Our Wishes Known to the Servants, Olivia amazed us all.
She said, "please."
For, predictably enough, a handful of M&Ms. I wasn't quite sure I'd heard right, so after she'd scarfed that handful I shook another out and waved it at her.
Me: "Olivia, do you want some more?"
Olivia: "Uh! Uh! Emm! ... Emm!"
Me: "What do we say?"
Olivia: "Pwease?!?" (hop hop hop)
Let's just say I'm darned glad we don't have a surfeit of skilled trumpeters. If we had enough, I'm quite sure there would be angels arching across the sky, announcing imminent apocalypse. Ah well, I'll guess we'll have to wait for the next time the Cowboys get in the Superbowl for that.

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October 09, 2005
Wicked Olivia and The Ruby Slippers

She stole them from Dorothy.

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October 02, 2005
Just Kill Me Now
Today, in the bookstore:
Ellen: "Ooo! Look! Swan Lake Barbie on DVD!"
Me: "Swan Lake. Barbie."
Ellen: "She's been trying to twirl to ballet all week! This will be perfect!"
Olivia, on cue from her umbrella stroller: "Bahlee daddy! Bahlee!" [hands over head]
Me: *sigh*
Four hours later, after an hour nap, we're on our second showing. Yep, Olivia has her very first chick flick, complete with horsies, cute animals, strong women, and clueless guys. Hold up your fists guys, I actually sat through the whole thing first time with my girl's head resting in my lap. She actually sighed once and said, "oh daddy... bahlee..."
Well, she did watch an hour and a half of the Redskins game beforehand. That's worth something... right? Right?!?

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Wicked Olivia

*SNIFF!* She has my 'eats small children' smile. *SNIFF*

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Wicked Witch Of The Binkies!

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September 27, 2005
Playing Hairdresser

Note how Olivia is brushing my hair, rather painfully, with a cat brush.

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September 24, 2005
~ Hey, Johnson, Whaddaya Say / We All Want to Know What Ya Learned Today
I learned that, no matter how much she complains, you should not let your 2 year old daughter take a nap with a giant chocolate chip cookie. Those of you saying, "DuH!!!" have not seen a class 4 meltdown. Now shaddup and tell me how to get chocolate out of these sheets...

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There's a Bug on Your Head! A Bug on Your Head!

Olivia also got a new hat whilst on vacation. This was the last day; note the seriously "browned" girl in the 2nd picture. Ellen was spitting nails at both of us for getting so tan so fast:

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Miss Boogie Board 2005

She liked the one with the broken back that was just part of the pool gear much more than the new one we bought the next day. I think she was better able to balance on it. Class 4 meltdown when we left without taking it with us!

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September 21, 2005
Artwork

O is an artiste.

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September 20, 2005
Beach Glamour

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September 16, 2005
Virtual Dolphin

Driving a "daahl-pi" (dolphin).

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September 14, 2005
Hi-Ho Flipper!

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Strawberry Icecream

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September 13, 2005
Olivia and The Lion

The entire time she is calling the kitty. "C'mere! Psss...Psss...Pss..."

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In The Butterfly Garden

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Spider Web Girl

We went to the Virginia Zoo today. Prepare for lots of pixes!

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September 12, 2005
Move Along Crabcake!

Between nearly every cross street on the boardwalk is some sort of sculpture. We have not found a horse or elephant yet. But this is close. And yes, we have 2 live hermit crabs going home with us.

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Fishy Kiss

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The Girls

Yes, another rare photo. I'm usually behind the lens.

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Lounging In The Lazy River Pool

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MMMmm...is for Messy!

The after dinner icecream incident.

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Thirsty

Apparently chlorinated pool water from a boat is pretty good!

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Meeting Tonka

Tonka is the Sunspree's mascot. She is a 12 year old African Leopard Spotted Tortise. And a very upbeat and friendly one at that. She cannot seem to get enough attention.

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Sand Surfing
This is how it's supposed to go.

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When Waves Attack!

Sometimes you're the boogie board, sometimes you're the wave. Note to The Grammas: Olivia is fine. Since she is our child, she proved quite capable of having a "feet-in-air" wipeout in just six inches of water. She rolled upright on her rear less than a half a second later sputtering salt water and sand.

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O Doing the Boogie

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September 11, 2005
Conversations with a Two Year Old
While at the (what turned out to be) C+ barbeque shop we stopped in for lunch, Ellen gave Olivia one of her hushpuppies, just to see what she'd do with it.
Ellen: "Here ya go O, have a hushpuppie. It's good! Eat it!"
Olivia, looking at it suspiciously: "wha dat?"
Ellen: "It's a hushpuppie! You eat it!"
Olivia, dubiously: "Eat puppy?"
Ellen: "No, it's a hushpuppie."
Olivia, paused, looked around, then in an emphatic whisper asked, "eat puppy?"
From that point on, until we left the place, she would tap my shoulder and whisper conspiratorially, "hush puppy daddy! hush puppy! Eat it!" Which she did, and in the process proved it is quite possible to make a splatterific mess with something as simple as a fried dough ball. Sort of like our very own Mcguyver in diapers.

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Salt Water Mermaid Hug

She will nap good today!

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Relaxing

She got her own bed this vacation!

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Hey I'm Stuck In A Hole!

Of course I went through all the trouble of digging a two foot hole, and built a few sand castles just to get this shot. What kind of photographer doesn't build props? :)

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Don't Let Go!

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Save Me Daddy!

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Windy Hair

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Hello At The Beach!

Taken at 7 A.M

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